back for a moment

i guess many of you probably dont expect me to post here anymore.
but i dunno why, i have the urge to speak my mind, and where else can i do it right?
and more or less, i hope you do read this if you happen to be...well...around.

we haven't spoken on the phone for too long, and perhaps that was why the last phone call we had was so....dull? empty? awkward? no..no.."stranger-like".
i could feel a sense of unease or discomfort in your voice. whatever the reason, you did seem a bit down. yet, i didnt ask why. i couldnt.
maybe im just paranoid, but i had a feeling you wanted to tell me something, maybe tell me what was wrong. but, you didnt. maybe im just overthinking.
i dunno.
whatever it is, i hope you feel better. i hope you get through whatever your experiencing.
if you ever need to talk im here, you funsize-midget! :P

TUMBLR

okay, so i kinda figured i dont post as often as i would like to on this blog, mainly because i dont have time to write. so i guess its a better idea for me to use tumblr as when i dont have anything to write about, i can still share something, maybe a photo or a video :)
so yeah, follow me on tumblr from now on :D http://antsteamy.tumblr.com/

happy birthday :)

i just wanted to say happy birthday to that little bird thats still flying around :)

i hope you have a wonderful birthday and get lots and lots of presents!!

i wish i could say happy birthday to you in person today, but well....i didnt. LOL
not that i didnt want to, but we were both busy. you were probs busy doing stuff and i was busy studying, if only you came to city today! :P

happy birthday fagatron! no, you cannot have me rob a bank for your birthday present :)

10,000

10,000 views. mmmmm. ive reached my ultimate goal, id be celebrating a lot more if i was in a better mood. but right now, it's really not the time.

first of all, sozskiz for posting so late and shit cos its been ages since my last post and yeah.

right now, i feel like a dog. bro im sorry.

ill celebrate my 10,000 views properly some other time.

8)

WHOOOOSSEEE DAAAAA NERRRDDDDD DATTTTTTTT JUUUSTTTT WENNNNTTTT FORRRRRR AAAA SHHHOOOPPPPPIIINGG SPREEEEEEEE ATTTTTT OFFFFFIICEEEEWOOORKKSSS??????





me.

8)



-story of my life.

reality

i guess its reality that you ended up with him.
ive always anticipated this result, but i suppose its time to face it.
these 8 months practically flew past, it seemed like it was just yesterday.

im good though, im happy that you're happy.

life is good atm, besides studies.

im really stressing about my studies, ive come to realise id probably get a 85 atar at max, and thats a real decrease to what i ACTUALLY wanted :(

ah wells, reality is what it is.

fuck it, imma fckn do well in life, despite my score i have atm or my vce score, i shall live a happy life and thats that. fuck what else happens :)

on another note,
had a great kick arse time at johnos tonight :))))))
too much to talk about, but all up, fantabulous nighttttt :D

get well soon

today i went visit a dear friend who had an operation on his left knee.
its good to see that he's healing quickly and doing fine :)
although, he HAS been taking painkillers that gives him quite the itch on the wound, but im sure he'll be okay :)

i hope he's leg recovers quickly, and he gets well soon :)

new starts

Once again another late post. i think its going to become a habit, especially this year that my blog posts will have larger time intervals in between.

Anyways, recently she told me that she was starting to see someone else. She said it didnt feel right not to tell me. I completely understand where she's coming from, and i wish her the best, as a friend. I just really hope she knows what she's doing and make sure she is completely positive that she has the right feelings for him before jumping into another relationship. For her to get hurt is the last thing i want.

So i guess this marks a new beginning. The past had ended months ago, but a new beginning has just started.

I've always thought i could start anew with ease, i never thought it'd be this hard.

True story; i tried to get this racing game on my ipod touch right, i downloaded it and everything, so very excited to have this awesome addictive exciting new game on my ipod! It wouldn't sync the first time, nor the second. I kind of came to a resolution that perhaps restoring my ipod entirely, would make the sync work! So, i restored it, lost all my 3000 songs, all my apps AND my jailbreak for this one game. It finally synced. I was so psyched i could finally play it! :D Yet, little did i know, DIFFICULT was an understatement when it comes to getting a freaking C grade license in the game....took me hours to get the ONE license to compete in my very first race.
All was good. I insisted to myself, it was all worth it.
The next day, at nick's drink up at bh, i pulled out my ipod as we waited for a few more people to show up before drinking, and i realised my earphones were broken! They wouldnt work!!!! Ive basically ruined my entire ipod for one stupid ass game. but guess what?
its a fucking kickarse game!

I suppose what im trying to point out is, to start anew you just got to lose everything old. This includes my 3000 songs (our playlist), my apps, my jailbreak and my earphones.
Yet to my suprise, my photos still remained. Especially this ONE photo of us. Maybe its a sign that although i must lose everything to start again, there are somethings that cant be lost or forgotten and can remind us of how lucky we once were.

Not like my ipod matters right now anyways, its year 12, my ipod will only be a distraction.

been ages

yes yes yes i knowwwww, its been ages since my last post and im farking sorry!hahaha
i just dont have the time to post as often anymore, ive actually beeen trying to study, and although it may not seem as much, for me, the amount of work ive done recently is bloody tonnes!

there really isnt much going on in my life right now other than the stress of year 12.

lastnight i got a call at like 3am and talked till 5am or something, until i basically fell asleep because i started sleping between my replies ahaha. i havent had a call that ended because i fell asleep ever since like....lastyear, when i was still dating.
i guess i forgot how goood it feels to have someone up talking to you and the last thing you did before you slept was litterally talking to someone :)
its a weird concept to grasp, but yeah. :P

woke up not long ago at like....4.30pm :)

business sac on monday, my only chance to study for that is from....now until 3am and maybeee 9pm tomorrow until 3am again. WITHOUT distractions. sooooo hopefully i do well :D

btw, i dont think i ever congratulated myself on reaching 9000 blog views :D thank you for reading maaaa shiiettt!!!! now go nerd up in your book or something! :)

so long!

its been so long since ive posted here.
im sorry, just havent had the time.

these holidays, ive practically been out every night. just with the boys cruising around and all, going places etc.

i guess im just really relieved that holidays have finally came and i just really want to let myself go and enjoy myself :)

tonight i just read something that a special someone wrote, and i feel honoured to have been mentioned.
in reply, i want to let you know, i will always be here. whenever, whereever, one call is all it takes. (unless my phones dead, then dix.) LOL

mmmmmm
today, after tutor i went to max brenners in QV in the city to catch up with an old friend whom i havent seen in ageeessssss.
well yeah, she recently came out of a relationship, which lasted like....4 years.
i know i know, its unbelievably long.
well i guess i just wanted to say that she reminded me of what ive almost forgotten.

she said: "Somethings seem like they'll last forever, but nothing does."

lazy

i know i havent been posting much this week...its cos im really tiredddddd and lazzzyyyyyy.

havent been getting much sleep at all lately, ive been sleeping alot in class :(
havent been doing much work either...as i have planned to be more hardworking :(

my laptop fuked up for like 2 days...and i finally now got it working again :D

i gueesss its good in a way cos now it feels like a new laptop :D

i wish i could stop time and then do a few days worth of work and then resume time to make me seem smart :D

check in!

okay this is going to be very quick, cos im going out very soon!!!

sorry to my dearest readers taht i have been very slow on updates!!!
ive just been busy doing this and that! and being too tired in the night to write something :(

well yes, formal at brighton international was alright. got a tad boring in between but it was a nice experience :) we took many photos, most of which on johnos camera which he may be uploading sometime soon :D

afterparty was better than the formal itself :) i finally drank again, as my deadline was met. for those whom didnt know, i made a commitment since February to not drink until formal night! well yeah, CHECK! :)

i didnt drink that much though, enough to get to a very tipsy stage but not yet DRUNK drunk.

and we left the apartment at like 2pm the next day :)

OH! and ive gotten formpring as of lastnight as a friend had urged me to get one. so yeah here it is muderfkers!!

http://www.formspring.me/anthonyhou

ps: no haters.

formal...TMR!

pumped as for formal!!!

im going to rush through the gat just so i can believe it is that much closer to the formal :)
actually to be honest, im more pumped about the afterparty than the formal itself :)
i can finallly drink again and just chilling with friends sounds like an awesome idea :)

see you cunts on the other side muderfker!!!

formal...TMR!

pumped as for formal!!!

im going to rush through the gat just so i can believe it is that much closer to the formal :)
actually to be honest, im more pumped about the afterparty than the formal itself :)
i can finallly drink again and just chilling with friends sounds like an awesome idea :)

see you cunts on the other side muderfker!!!

ceebsss

i really ceebs studying for my methods exam coming up on tuesday....

got my full formal gear pretty much done. i cant think of anything else that im missing so farrrrr. :P

formal afterparty is still confusing though, we havent worked out whos coming and whos not yet. bleh i ceebs organisingggggggg and shit.
but it has to be doneee. hopefully things work out :)

rest in peace.

well as some of you may already know, my grandma recently passed away.
i wont go into detail as to the ins and outs of it all but shes basically had cancer and has ben in the hospital for a while, and well yeah.

today was her funeral. we had it asian styled.
and yeah.

when i first got a call she had passed away, i rushed to the hospital and arrived 1-2 hours after she had already gone.
i had a emotional break down.
but i then recovered like the next few days, as i came to realise life and death is a normal thing. To every beginning, theres an end. She left us peacefully and painlessly. Through the unfortunate, the fortunate happened. she passed away at a reasonably old age, many other people in the world die alot earlier than her. She passed away painlessly, many other people in the world die so much more painfully such as fires and drowning etc. Moreover, she passed away with family around her. A lot of people die alone. i guess we're lucky enough to get to know her and have spent time with her, where as many other people never got to know their grandparents.

i definitely miss the memories and times we've had with her, but i guess i shouldnt be sad over them, i should be happy that we've made such great memories.

shes in a better place now, shes chilling with god.

Rest.In.Peace<3

exams

fucking exams :(

if exams was a person, i would run it over with a giant spaceship, chainsaw it to pieces then throw the remainings into a deep as pit in the ground and light that shit on fire.

but yes, although none of my exams are external, meaning they only count as sacs, i still have 5 subjects to do in 5 days.....and on monday, i have 3 of them.

and im rather disappointed in myself that ive only studied like...well...NOTHING.

im so fucked.

hope for a miracle/ real friends

so today i got a call from my aunty, she told me that my grandma's condition has gotten even worse and could pass away at any time.
so the everyone called everyone, and then entire family tree was rushing to see her, incase it was the lasttime.
at that moment, i was all the way in essendon. i had to catch a train to flinders and another train to parliament and leg it to the hospital.
my fkn phone was on low battery and was about to die on me, but thankfully paul lent me his phone to use for the emergency. not only that, he walked me to the essendon station which was like 20 mins walk from where we were. he found the quickest route to get to hospital for me, in which i am sincerely grateful.
paul had to get back to richard and erol so i jumped on the train alone.
i had never felt so bad on the inside before....the urge to see my grandma, the fear of not getting to see her for the last time.

i soon enough reached flinders, i rushed off the train and coincidently ran right into benny, who was going to meet US at essendon. i explained to him why i was in such a rush within 1 or 2 sentences.
"im rushing to hospital to see my grandma who might be passing away right now."
without any hesitation, this true brew replied "alright im coming with ya!" :)
with me, we ran pass a gazzillion people, and on the way he called richard, paul and erol whom we were suppose to be with, that he was coming with me :)
the train ride TO parliament, benny understood that wat mood i was in, and kept it cool, not awkward, but a comfortable silence, and i appreciate the consideration.

im really glad i bumped into this kunt, cos i had no idea where to go from parliament. he led me to the exit which was directly across the road from st vincent hospital :)
we ran the entire way, through the hospital blocks and to the elevator and shit like that. we got to the room, benny waited outside.
i walked in, i see everyone surrounding the bed, crying.
my grandma lay in the bed, motionless. her mouth just open, eyes closed. she couldnt move, and couldnt speak.

i tried to hold back my tears. i held gently held her hand and whispered "grandma, its anthony, can u hear me?"
well, according to the doctor, she could hear us, but she just cant respond.
grandma cant even eat right now. doctor says, her muscles are to weak and cant digest any food, if she was to eat, shed choke...

well yeah. after a good maybe 1 hour of weeping, more and more family members showed up. each time they would walk to the side of the bed and let her know theyve come to see her, but each time she wouldnt be able to show that she acknowledged that.

doctor says, shes at the stage where she could pass away any minute, but most likely in the next few days or weeks.
soon enough each of us left 1 by 1.
i walked outside and i saw benny sitting patiently in a seat near the help desk.
we went downstairs got some coffee to calm the nerves, talked for abit, casual shit.

the entire day, i wasnt in the mood to contact people about the situation. i didnt want to talk about it.
but i guess, its the true friends that understand exactly how you're feeling and what to do, even if you only tell them 1 or 2 sentences.
its at the time of need that you realise who your real friends are. those taht will stand by you through thick and thin. fucking its those people you will never forget.
thanks bros :)

and on another note, i thank this special lady whom texted me that she would be there if i ever needed to talk :) thank you dearly!

its such a kick in the nuts that i have a chinese oral sac tmr, which im not in the mood to study for....
im going to have to do it, THEN go visit my grandma....sigh.

im not a doctor, i cant do anything. all i can do is hope for a miracle

long time no see.

indeed it has been a long as time. We haven't seen each other or talked for ages. Just seeing you runs my down memory lane, flashbacks just replaying itself in my head. Ive been really busy and all lately, and I'm sure you have been also.
Do you still remember me? hi :)

your pain.

i have no idea if you are referring to me.
but ive also heard about the rumours going around.
i can tell you that it isnt true and that i still do remember you.

i guess we both must face reality that we are no longer together and that at some point in time either one of us will have to break the ice to signify we are no longer in need for one another.
im not stopping you from doing anything at your own will, but i hope you arent doing it in anger to try retaliate at me because rumours arent true.

i hope you read this before its too late.
dont do something you will regret, i dont want to see you hurt.

party

been a while since ive partied so hard :) well....ive partied hard not THAT long ago at bluefest which we crashed...
but this time was partying alot harder!!
MOST of the boys were there. good as dj. kickarse dancefloor. mad as night :)
my legs are tireddddd!!
but thats a sign of SUCCESS!! I PARTIED LIKE AN ANIMAL! hahaaha!

but yeah, on another note, im very proud of some of my friends, who have been kept back by strings and chains from past relationships and have tonight, gone out there and made it THEIR night :)

and another congratulations on other friends who have came out of their shell, they have released themselves and had a great night :)

what am i doing now? no i am not studying, no i am not playing a game, no i am not eating.....i am waiting for the next party :)

formal

formal is coming up very soon, 16th of juneeeeee :O

im extremely excited!!
but im really not sure as to who i would bring as my date.
tickets are closing sales on coming friday D:


streeeeesssss

8000!!!

so im aware that i havent ben posting as frequent as i use to!
but UNDERSTAND ive had sacs for the past 3 weeks....im bloody worn out!!

and to top shit off, i had a freaking hour and a half detention today for not attending assembly for 5 weeks and mentoring for 5 weeks.... :(

im tired as fuck!!!

buttttttttttttttttttt i made an effort tonight to celebrate 8000 viewsssssss!! WOOOOT!
yay! party on my blog!! someone throw confete! yaayyy..... :P
nah but on a serious note, thanks for the support and time taken to read the shit i write :)

oh and for a close friend, a brother.
hes had a really really rough day today....and i just hope things workout for him and that he feels better :(

what do i see?

Life is a journey. We all start at the same point but always end in different places, which is shaped by family, friends, money, jobs and other everyday things that at times we take for granted.

I guess on my journey in life I've had my own ups and downs, and I've met my share of different people. Well I'm not going to talk about my entire life right now because that would take me a long assssss time.

I honestly have no idea what Im going to write, i just feel like theres something in me that i have to write about...

I think everyone has, at some point, looked at a place and you would remember the times, whether good or bad, you have shared at that exact spot.

Well looking at someone, a person who you had once known so well, someone that had made such a huge contribution to your life, your reality, a wave of memories flood into your mind. I guess, we as people take things for granted and don't actually have those flash backs until we actually lose the person we had once cherished so much. Just living through the fact that nothing is the same anymore, that not you or they are the same, hurts. The worst part is acting like things are fine, pretending to be normal, but in true fact it is awkward as hell. Its awkward in a sense that you cant be too close, yet you have to act like you have not grown distant. When you see them, a question crosses your mind, "how should i say hi?" wave? smile? say hello? its fucked.

So what do i see when i look into you? i see a box of memories.

JINS NEW EP :D

omfgggggggg, JIN just released a new EP :)

i just downloaded it :D its only like 25mbs

5 songs:
Changed Man
Just Music
Sincerely Yours
True Religion
Whatever it takes

the lyrics in every single song are fckn top shit. i would recommend you to download it. its not really his BEST shit, cos this was made just for the public casually, but its still fckn rock hard. his new english albumn is coming out soon, sooo looking forward to taht :D

download this shit at : http://www.mediafire.com/?ux77hmzswul3q0g

sorry!

ommmg! i am so sorrrrryy to the people i left hanging :(

at 11pm, i told everyone i would take a 10minute nap to rejuvenate myself so i can study later on for my english sac tmr.
however, unfortunately, i slept all the way through to 1.40pm :S
and like....EVERYONE went offline...

sorry :(

but on the good side, from 1.40pm - 3.40pm i wrote some notes for the novel im doing.
i dont think its enough....but i guess ill have to deal with it. :P


goooodnights!

[signing out: 3.50am]

6:09am

a new record with the gay as bisexual!! :)

stayed up this late talking to her and my dearest Samule Jackson :)))))


good as conversation, goood as night. did another question for BM. feeling goodddddd...cept tired. :)


nights cunts!

lazy

FARKKK!!! i havent done shit all for my holiday homework and now my stress level has definitely reached boiling point!!!
ive done 2 questions of business management so far. and have all my other holiday homeworks to do and sacs to study for in the first week....
stressful shit!!

my short-term goal, is to do a lot of my holiday homework tmr.

are you srs?

are you actually fucking serious?
i lose the one person i can trust and depend on, then i lose a good friend on the same night.

wat a great night, luckiest man on the planet.

damn.

it fucking hurts. that sinking feeling in your chest.

Betrayed as fuck.

smile

you probably dont know ive always been reading your blog. but since our break up, we havent really been talking about our feelings and your blog is kinda the only insight ive had on how you really felt.
after reading that, i smiled. not a massive grin, not a sneer, not a laugh; but just a little smile. i smile not in amusement or humour. i smile through gladness. im glad that you have become the stronger girl id hope you to be. im glad you have realised i am only just another guy. im glad you are now able to put the past behind you and move on. im glad you are no longer sad.
i guess i feel the same way at this point. that no matter when it is or where im at, there will always be a part of me that still loves you. but im sure as we both live our lives, we will come to realise that we've been lucky to have each other and that to every beginning there is always an ending; we definitely had a good run, thats all that matters.

although we cannot end as lovers, we're still good friends and i hope that whenever you need someone to talk to or when you need help; ill be here, as a friend.

by the way, please do your homework :) and dont party to hard and dont do anything you will regret, but most importantly take care of yourself.




i dont know if u remember any of these pictures, but we drew them. i chose these two pictures to just say; thanks for being there for me in time of need, but here's the ending of our story.

thats exactly what i thought >:)

so wat IS good enough?

you're a donkey's asshole :)

NO! YOUUUUU get on YOUUURR knees.... ;) get it? LOL

oh yeah? well my FIST would like to meet your FACE!

I EAT JELLY LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!!

FUCK YOU TWICE AS HARD ON A NAIL BED!!

die.

i hope you get cum in your eye and as you're blinded, walk right into a cave and get raped by a bear, then the bear cums all over your face and u suffocate cos u cant breathe through the sticky cum. :)

lameeee

why is the bisexual so lame? ;)

bisexual

if you are reading this, you are a bisexual. thats right you homo! ;)

Chrishan ft. Che'Nelle - Here on earth

i am so obsessed with this song atm! its so bloody GOOODDDD!!!
Chrishan ft. Che'Nelle - Here on earth

paste this into ur bar and listen to this fantabulous SHIIETT!! :D:D:D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkNgc1SwMsE&feature=feedf

7000!

ok, so this may be a little late....since im already like 60 views OVER 7000.
but...yeah.

WOOOOOT!!! :D we've finally hit the 7000 mark! well done people! give urself a pat on the back!
im feeling very accomplished atm, all thanks to YOU! :)

so anyways, using this chance, might aswell check in on my life :)

well today i went to state library with some friends whom i havent seen in quite a while :)
at state i bumped into quite a few people, farkkk i was actually suprised with how many ppl i knew that was all there on the same day! :D
after studying until like 5, we went to CueCity to play pool which quite pleasant :)
then on the way back to the MC to catch the train, i realised the 2nd FLOOR HAS JUST BEEN FINISHED RENOVATING!!
now i dunno if im behind on this update, but IF YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN MC'S NEW SECOND FLOOR, PLEASE MAKE UR WAY THERE ASAP!! ITS FUCKING AMAZZZZZZZZINGGGGG!!! i cant really explain much on wat it looks like, so ull have to go check it out :) its a food court...but...TOO good to be one :P

anyways, just thought u guys might be intersted and all :)
well yes, keep clicking to view my blog and stuff so i will reach my 10,000 DREAAAMMMM :) thank you all and i love you :)

sick

zomgg ive havent been feeling well for like 2 days....but u know, being the tank that i am i tired to beast it! but this morning as i woke up, i realised i couldnt :( it had gotten worse.

i called up the schoool and told them i wouldnt be able to make it and that my further sac would have to be rescheduled, that worked out fine :)
but now i got no calculator to study for my NEXT further sac which is TOMORROW!!! and my business sac also....but i guess i had one whole day at home to get stuff done right?
no.
ive been sick so ive been sleeping until like 1. then went to doctors and been there till 2.
got home rested for the time being and i only JUST start touching any books at all.
made no difference as to if i came home at 3 or not :S

oh wells, i hope im better for tomorrows two sacs :\

head hurts, imma hop off now. TTYL!! :)

get well soon!

OMFG! i cannot believe i did not post it!
ive been wanting to post up a post about one of my closest friends going to hospital, i kept reminding myself to do it, but i never came around to it! well here it is.

hes had this spontaneous lung thingo...i have no idea wat its called...but basically, a hole randomly appeared in his lung, and he had chest pains for like an entire day. he went to the doctors and had an xray, and wat not, and was confirmed he had been diagnosed with that thingo.

well yeah, we went to visit him and all, had a good time...not that we were happy he wasnt well and all, but we tried to cheer him up...the best we could ;) nipple. LOL

and yeah, well hes ok now. he was in hospital for like....a week or so, and now hes alright to come back to school. but he just cant walk too fast or like get hit or bumped around his midsection. but yeah, i hope he gets well soon!!!!

and just hope that the thingo never comes back :S

anyways, take care me boy! :D

checking in.

i guess i havent really been posting much on my blog recently.
its realy jsut because of vce and i dont have time for it.
not only that, but because its taking up so much of my time, i barely have anything to EXPERIENCE, hence to talk about :P

well okay, nothing really interesting but i suppose some of you may be wondering how im going in life blah blahblah, and if u dont, ALT-F4 faggot!
>:) jokes! please stay :)

today afterschool me and a few friends went to bh library to study :P
basically, we got NO WORK DONE!
bloody sad.
i thoguht i could actually work, but no....i just cant :(

good to see a good friend though! whom i havent seen since like...last year!
so yeah, hes doing well, though he did get abit chubbier ahhahah!
he came with me to buy something :) which i thank him alot for :)

like i said, nothing really much to write about.....
im going to end it here, ill be sure to blog about something intersting..if it ever happens :P

seeeeyaaa!!!

PS: looking forward to tomorrow! WEDNESDAY!! FINISHING EARLLLLYY BITTCHHEZZ

yes i do

if you were wondering, yes i do remember.
it hurts me to see that you do too.

that photo reminded me of the picture i drew in our book.

i know it hurts,
and im sorry.

let it be a happy memory, and not a burden or curse.

talk about SOMETHING; not about EVERYTHING

i hate it when people talk and only TOUCH on the surface of topics and not actually go in depth and keep switching topics constantly.
its like talking for the sake of talking and not actually COMMUNICATING with the person you talk to, its fucking annoying.

i mean, of course you have to switch topics you talk about to keep the conversation alive, but is it really necessary to just say 2 or 3 lines about one thing then suddenly jump to another so quickly that i have no idea what just happened?

talk about SOMETHING, not about EVERYTHING

ANAL?

tina says:
*YES IT DOES
*ITS YOUR BUTT
*your anal
      - anthony      rapta says:
*:O
*so u like...anal?
*LOOOLS
tina says:
*LOL
*ofc, its the best

gangster azzzz

this made me LAUGH!

mmmel says:
*thanks
*thats cos i am :)
*im fuckin hardcun
*cunt*
      - anthony      rapta says:
*datz how a real gangduh doez trew brew?
mmmel says:
*YEAAAHHHBOI!
*and i was full like starting cunts and bashing them and stuf fcos im so fkn gangduh
      - anthony      rapta says:
*i heard u stabbed some black guy from dandy lastnight
*ALONE
*LOL
mmmel says:
*yeah pretty much
*i do that on a monthly basis id say?
      - anthony      rapta says:
*oh yeah, only monthly these days cos cops on ya tail ey?
*LOl
mmmel says:
*ahh i just tell them to fuck off LOL
      - anthony      rapta says:
*LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
*FUCKING LOOOOLSSSSS
*im going to blog this shit
*its beaut as.

year 12/6500 views :D

ok so i know lately ive been pretty lazy with my posts and they arent really as consistent with the posting updates and i apologise :(

but anyways year 12 is fucking shit.
so stressful with like a sac litterally ever 2 weeks. im already falling behind in furthermaths and methods by 2 whole chapters. im lost in english. legal i have no idea where we are. business management im not really learning much.

so i actually think this year im going to choke on the end of year exams.

but on another note, we finally reached 6500 views!! weeeeoooooo!!! :D
how good is that??? very good :)
thanks for the supporttt!! keep visiting cos im going to try post more :)

lost my phone

farken pissed as.
lastnight at the plc twlight picnic, things were going pretty good.
wasnt that exciting, but nor did i find it boring.
it was a more chilllleeedddd positioning.

but yeah, at aroudn 8.30 i lost my phone aroudn the middle of the oval or something.
mightve been wen i was sitting down/stood back up and may have slipped from my pocket; or helping up the lady that tripped over and dropped it...or she may have pick pocketed me LOLS; or i mightve dropped it when i chased benny around the oval.
ORRRRRRRRR a extremely strong bee flew into my pocket and thought my phone was some sort of flower and picked it up and flew back out into its hive. :\

fuuuarrrkk shit as moood last night but the pain has been relieved as my great friend aaron offered to let me use his old phone until i got a new one at the end of my contract. :)

i also went to chaddy optus store today and deactivated my sim and issued a new one with the same number. sooo its the SAMEEEEEE number if anyone was wondering :)

also, thank you "thomas chen bong heavy hands danger lee" for helping me find my phone for most part of the time i lost it :)
and thank you annabuttockskiz for calling and looking for it countless of times :)

and fuck u hansol, marvin and aaron for dogging me and went to pick up chicks at my time of need. LOOOOOOL fags :P yeah thats right, i named and shamed you.

MY PHONE WAS A BLACK NOKIA X6 TOUCH. IF YOU FIND IT OR HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT IT PLEASE LET ME KNOW. IT WILL BE DEARLY APPRECIATED. =D

the letter

i guess i finally replied with a letter of my own.
i really hope you read the letter and understand me.
well actually, i read your blog, and it seems that you DO understand me.

did i sound smart near the end? :P

i tried to :]

we had a good run, made alot of great memories, no regrets. :)

A

FOR EVERYONE WHOM LAUGHED OR SAID DIX TO ME WHEN I LOST ONE OF MY Q-CARDS FOR ENGLISH AND FROZE FOR 15 SECONDS, DIX ON YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!

cos i got an "A" :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

so fuck u all :)
nah jokes, i love you <3


but farrrrrrsss, im happy :)

farrsss

farrrrrrsss. trying my best to stay away from such problems until the end of year 12. trying to just study and not worry about everything else. trying to stay clean and be the best i can.
i guess there are some things that just cant be dodged. family.
when you're down the same bloodline as he is, you inherit his problems, his beef, his fights.

lets see what i can do.

reply

so not long ago i got your letter, expressing exactly what you feel.
i still dont know how to reply to it yet.

today i told you i would give you our blue book tomorrow and i was thinking i would give a reply in it aswell,
but thinking about it more and more, i think i just need more time to actually write out exactly whats on my mind.
give me a week.
just one week.

deakin

farrrrrsssssss deakin program thing has been soooo borrrrrinnnggg!!!
such a drag,
we do nothing but sit in lecture theatres and hear randoms talk about random stuff.

so we've also had our english orals there aswell, and for me, it was BAD!!!
i was reading my cards out right, doing alright, hanging onto perhaps a B grade mark until i went like half way into my speech.
i realised as i was reading i was missing a q-card.....i froze for 15 seconds and i see in the back row that hung picks it up!
damn.
so now i think id be getting a C or C+ or something fail-asian :(
wat a start to year 12 yeah?

Valentines day/200th post/6000 views

So today is a BIG day,
it marks VALENTINES DAY, my 200th blog post (this one) AND we finally reached 6000 views :))))
[warning long post]

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!! :))) i hope that everyones enjoying their valentines day whether you've got a date or you're single. i hope everyone gets tonnes of chocolates and roses :)))

so its valentines and during the recent days that led to today ive been thinking and considering if i should ask someone to be my date for valentines, but i guess it just doesnt feel right to have somebody else by my side after all that has happened. i wish i had the courage to disregard her feelings, i guess this year ill be spending it alone...again.
For those who dont know, by again im referring to what happened on the 14th of feb last year, well basically my ex had to go to camp so i spent it alone.
i just want to sit on a bench with someone, give them a rose and a box of chocolates and just talk.
well i guess theres always next year :)

200th post!! wooooooot!!
so this post would be my 200th post and it feels like a long one so far. i guess out of these 200 posts there are some happy and some sad, each post representing a page of my life filled with my emotions and thoughts, me at my highs and at my lows.
i dont know how many posts will be coming after this one cos of year 12 and i wont be having much time, but i promise to keep on trying to post stuff :)

6000views NOICE MOITE! :D
okay, plain and simple, I LOVE YOU ALL and thank you for the support!!! thanks for actually taking the time to read the shit i write such as this long ass one :) i know i know, u must be thinking "wtf man, this kents taking forever" chill out nigga!
now lets pursue 6500 views :D thanks kieeentssss!!

anyways, im really tired now, so imam call it a night, goodnights peeps!!!

PS: i was typing this and this song jsut popped out randomly, ive had this song for quite sometime now, but right now i think its perfect and the lyrics really reflect on 14th of feb for me :) ive added it to the playlist on the right so enjoy feggots!!
laters!

PSS: To her: thanks for the card last year.

checking in

yes yes, i know. its been quite a while since my lasttttt posttt!!!
well u know, just entering year 12,its tough!!!
so much homework lately!!
and we had camp not long ago, during the week,
swimming sports etc!
but u know, so far so good, a good go slow start to the year i guess :)

so tomorrow, 19 degrees hopefully not raining. meeting a friend so she can help me with my chinese homework :) ty.
and also, HELPING another friend in well, lets just say what goes around comes around.

ahhh yes, valentines day is coming up on the 14th of February!
dunno if i should get a valentines or not...it all seems so quick, but i guess its a good sign to show that its time to move on and live new lives.
but im just not sure if i want to....mmm ohwells,
to those that've already gotten dates for valentines WELL DONE :))) but for those that are still single for valentines, dw just drink it away! :)))

no title

mmmmm so i dont even know anymore.

we need to get our relationship straight, what we are and what we mean to each other.


i really want to move on, live my life and do what i gotta do. but its hard to erase whats been engraved for over a year :\


maybe its just that time of the night, but my mood is just nkfdgnadkjgnd.

fuck this, imma eat some doritos.

mood

i think its a combination of boredom and exhaustion, but im in a really CANNOT BE FUCKED + PISSED OFF mood.

i want to sleep, but its too early.
fucking dou maaaaaa rekgna;sdfnhks;hns;lnhgsnh;fkklsdfgf >:(

CHANGE OF DATES!

ok
so tonight 1am-ish was suppose to be a mini dirnkup with the guys at jordy station. but the date has been changed from tonight to MONDAY night because some people hadnt had enough time to get their drinks!
none the less, my mother was home and i couldnt sneak out :)

but yes, monday :D

relax birthday!

so basically, this year i decided not to have a party for my 17th and instead i just had a really chilled relaxing birthDAYYY (on my actual day) and drink up with the guys :)

it was a reallly reallllyyyy nice birthday! ive found like the bestest spot EVERRRR!!
its this place that looks over the city from kew :D
it was my friend who introduced me to such a magnificant place :)

afterwards i got a call from the tomfiredevil LOOOL! to go to bh with Marve :)
and from there we just played pool. well it wasnt reallly PLAYED since i just OWNED FLAWLESSLY! HAHAHHAHA :D

so anyways, that spot is now my one of my favourite places! i plan on going sometime next week again :)))

drinking tonight :D woooot!

birthday

so for those who are wondering "why the fuck hasnt anthony invited me to his birthday party yet...maybe he doesnt like me or forgot about me :("
well sad to say, its true. LOL JJJOOOOOKKKKESSS!!!
the real reason is, im not having a birthday party. i really cannot be stuffed going through all the effort to organise a place, invites, food, drinks etc. all that shit. its too much effort for me, so imma let this year just walk on past me :)

so wat i really want to do on my birthday is just to find a spot with someone and just chill there. just sit or lay down somewhere on some grass or watever with some music on a nice day and just talk/listen. so just basically enjoy life with someone :)
then on friday night probably drink up with the guys somewhere near my house or jordy station or something.

so if ur one of the people that can come out at like 1-2am on friday night/saturday morning then let me know and we'll get some drinks and drink up.

ideal birthday :)

DIX BACKFIRED :D

jenny says:
*EH
*YOU COPY CAT !
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*NO
*UR a copy rat
*:D
jenny says:
*cats eat rats
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*SO
*I EAT U
*:D
*dix
*im superior
*:D
jenny says:
*OH 
*CRAP
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*big wordss
jenny says:
*OMFG
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*(H)
jenny says:
*DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*???
jenny says:
*WHAT HAPPENED LOL
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*WAT
*HAPPENED/
jenny says:
*MY JOKE
*TOTES
*BACKFIRED ON ME
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*OH
*LOOOOl
*AHAHHAAHA
*DIIIIXXXX HARD
*ALL OVER UR FACE
*:D
jenny says:
*THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME LOL
       - ant    hony     rapta(yn) says:
*u just got ruined.
*:D
*HAAAAHHA
*blog worthy :)
jenny says:
*LOOOOOOOL
*(@)
*HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

snap?

so tonight i found out that this guy has been trying to make a move and has been getting touchy towards my EX...and well, i know its none of my business anymore...but i cant help but to feel abit annoyed and fustrated.

i feel like i WANT to teach him to keep his hands to himself, but then again, who am i to be getting involved in her business?

sleeping while swimming :D

okay so this short tale litterally cracked me up!!!

so recently this really cool thing happened and i met a friend, whom in a sense i ALREADY sorta knew....
so we OFFICIALLY met at bh library wen i went to study with jess and melissa.
so the study session was quite fun, random talk and abit of the usual girl B!TCHING lol jokes :D

but yeah, so she starts revealing we use to go to the same chink school until she changed to suday classes and im supposedly some BROOMBOY that use to stuff around with brooms around chink school. ROFL! embarassing enough, apparntly me and my friends use to mock them around chink school ahahahah! sounds like us :)

and yeah so at a party like...a week ago, i got pretty drunk and dont remember shit all.
so she tells me that she was at THAT party and stuffs, but i was to drunk to remember a thing so yeah :S

ANNNYWWAYSS so that was a short intro cos i thought thatd be intresting and deserved to be blogged.
but BACK TO THE MAIN POINT!!

so she told me that today, she was like...SUPER tired and had like coffeee (which she doesnt LIKE) and coke trying to wake herself up, but none of that WORKED!!
and she went to her POOOOOL!! cos shes rich like that with a mansion and stuff!
she swam and NEARLY FREAKING FELL ASLEEP in the POOL WHILST SWIMMING! AHAHAHAHAHHA
wen she told me this, i litterally laughed OUT loud. it was funny at the moment....
i kinda imagined her doing backstroke then kinda geting sleepy and doze off and fade away into the water then struggling to get back up! AHHAHAHAHA!!
ok ok, so yeah thats about it.

oh and if ur reading this, ur a retard stay at richmond fest longer!!!! :(

body clock

ommmmgggg this isnt even funny anymore...i completely ruined my body clock...its like 3:20am atm and i still dont want to sleep....
i mean i KNOW for a fact that im extremely tired today....and that ive got gym tmr...but i just cant seeem to force myself to sleep...

i really hope i can fix this before school starts.. :S

gym tomorrow at 10.30am....wat a DRAAAGGGGG :\

2 more days

so its been nearly 1 month that we've been apart.
22nd of january marks exactly 1 month of our seperation.

i have to admit its been really hard not only to be away from someone whom i loved, but also to try forget them, to try and concentrate on something else and not think of that certain someone.
but i guess things are just barely starting to piece together.
that things will heal. that time and space does help.
we're just friends now, disregarding our hidden feelings either from me or her or both of us.

things will work, time will take us both somewhere where things make sense and put things in the past, not to be forgotten, but to be remembered....only as memories.

WTF

i just saw this photo on fb wen i was going through my photos.

this was on camp :P still gotta look good.

and as for the curry on the left, some faggot taxi driver that wouldnt share the bathroom with our cabin.

being back

so she came back from her holiday recently.
i obviously am glad she came back :D

but im just worried that sparks will light again D:

i try to hold back and watch wat i say, avoid wats possible.

but i cant avoid the fact i did actually miss her :(

well go with the flow i guess.

5000 views!

nice nice nice! 5000 views!
well its half of 10000 so u know its gotta be good :)

im quite happy that people are still taking the time to read what i have to write. so well done to YOU!! give urself a pat on the back! :)

ok nothing much else to say, hmmmm...

AH! yess! tmr is my first tsfx lecture for methods at 1.30pm - 5.00pm.
so please let me know if ANYONE is going to the same lecture!! cos yeaah, im going to be with paul and im hoping to see more of the ppl we know :)

i shall see YOUUUU soon ! :D

hurts

i dont know what it is, maybe its that we havent seen each other for too long.
i dont know how else to explain it...but i think...
without you, i forgot how to love.

i forgot how long its been since i last seen u....but it just feels too long.
its scary to think the one i loved the most is slowly becoming a memory, slowly becoming a stranger. i never want to see that day come, but im afraid nothing can stop time.

it hurts me to know that ur hurting.
it hurts me to break something i help build.
it hurts me to see apart of me slowly fade away.
it hurts me to remind myself we arent together anymore.
it hurts me to force myself to move on.

it hurts me the most to miss you.




ps: it took me litterally 36 minutes to write this. i didnt know how to express my thoughts properly.

getting use to.

its been a while now since we've been apart.
yes, we do talk, but only as friends.
its hard to suddenly change the way you talk to someone when you're use to the OLD way.
but i guess time does heal all.
it will take some getting use to for the both of us, but i think itd all be okay :)