hope for a miracle/ real friends

so today i got a call from my aunty, she told me that my grandma's condition has gotten even worse and could pass away at any time.
so the everyone called everyone, and then entire family tree was rushing to see her, incase it was the lasttime.
at that moment, i was all the way in essendon. i had to catch a train to flinders and another train to parliament and leg it to the hospital.
my fkn phone was on low battery and was about to die on me, but thankfully paul lent me his phone to use for the emergency. not only that, he walked me to the essendon station which was like 20 mins walk from where we were. he found the quickest route to get to hospital for me, in which i am sincerely grateful.
paul had to get back to richard and erol so i jumped on the train alone.
i had never felt so bad on the inside before....the urge to see my grandma, the fear of not getting to see her for the last time.

i soon enough reached flinders, i rushed off the train and coincidently ran right into benny, who was going to meet US at essendon. i explained to him why i was in such a rush within 1 or 2 sentences.
"im rushing to hospital to see my grandma who might be passing away right now."
without any hesitation, this true brew replied "alright im coming with ya!" :)
with me, we ran pass a gazzillion people, and on the way he called richard, paul and erol whom we were suppose to be with, that he was coming with me :)
the train ride TO parliament, benny understood that wat mood i was in, and kept it cool, not awkward, but a comfortable silence, and i appreciate the consideration.

im really glad i bumped into this kunt, cos i had no idea where to go from parliament. he led me to the exit which was directly across the road from st vincent hospital :)
we ran the entire way, through the hospital blocks and to the elevator and shit like that. we got to the room, benny waited outside.
i walked in, i see everyone surrounding the bed, crying.
my grandma lay in the bed, motionless. her mouth just open, eyes closed. she couldnt move, and couldnt speak.

i tried to hold back my tears. i held gently held her hand and whispered "grandma, its anthony, can u hear me?"
well, according to the doctor, she could hear us, but she just cant respond.
grandma cant even eat right now. doctor says, her muscles are to weak and cant digest any food, if she was to eat, shed choke...

well yeah. after a good maybe 1 hour of weeping, more and more family members showed up. each time they would walk to the side of the bed and let her know theyve come to see her, but each time she wouldnt be able to show that she acknowledged that.

doctor says, shes at the stage where she could pass away any minute, but most likely in the next few days or weeks.
soon enough each of us left 1 by 1.
i walked outside and i saw benny sitting patiently in a seat near the help desk.
we went downstairs got some coffee to calm the nerves, talked for abit, casual shit.

the entire day, i wasnt in the mood to contact people about the situation. i didnt want to talk about it.
but i guess, its the true friends that understand exactly how you're feeling and what to do, even if you only tell them 1 or 2 sentences.
its at the time of need that you realise who your real friends are. those taht will stand by you through thick and thin. fucking its those people you will never forget.
thanks bros :)

and on another note, i thank this special lady whom texted me that she would be there if i ever needed to talk :) thank you dearly!

its such a kick in the nuts that i have a chinese oral sac tmr, which im not in the mood to study for....
im going to have to do it, THEN go visit my grandma....sigh.

im not a doctor, i cant do anything. all i can do is hope for a miracle

long time no see.

indeed it has been a long as time. We haven't seen each other or talked for ages. Just seeing you runs my down memory lane, flashbacks just replaying itself in my head. Ive been really busy and all lately, and I'm sure you have been also.
Do you still remember me? hi :)

your pain.

i have no idea if you are referring to me.
but ive also heard about the rumours going around.
i can tell you that it isnt true and that i still do remember you.

i guess we both must face reality that we are no longer together and that at some point in time either one of us will have to break the ice to signify we are no longer in need for one another.
im not stopping you from doing anything at your own will, but i hope you arent doing it in anger to try retaliate at me because rumours arent true.

i hope you read this before its too late.
dont do something you will regret, i dont want to see you hurt.

party

been a while since ive partied so hard :) well....ive partied hard not THAT long ago at bluefest which we crashed...
but this time was partying alot harder!!
MOST of the boys were there. good as dj. kickarse dancefloor. mad as night :)
my legs are tireddddd!!
but thats a sign of SUCCESS!! I PARTIED LIKE AN ANIMAL! hahaaha!

but yeah, on another note, im very proud of some of my friends, who have been kept back by strings and chains from past relationships and have tonight, gone out there and made it THEIR night :)

and another congratulations on other friends who have came out of their shell, they have released themselves and had a great night :)

what am i doing now? no i am not studying, no i am not playing a game, no i am not eating.....i am waiting for the next party :)

formal

formal is coming up very soon, 16th of juneeeeee :O

im extremely excited!!
but im really not sure as to who i would bring as my date.
tickets are closing sales on coming friday D:


streeeeesssss

8000!!!

so im aware that i havent ben posting as frequent as i use to!
but UNDERSTAND ive had sacs for the past 3 weeks....im bloody worn out!!

and to top shit off, i had a freaking hour and a half detention today for not attending assembly for 5 weeks and mentoring for 5 weeks.... :(

im tired as fuck!!!

buttttttttttttttttttt i made an effort tonight to celebrate 8000 viewsssssss!! WOOOOT!
yay! party on my blog!! someone throw confete! yaayyy..... :P
nah but on a serious note, thanks for the support and time taken to read the shit i write :)

oh and for a close friend, a brother.
hes had a really really rough day today....and i just hope things workout for him and that he feels better :(

what do i see?

Life is a journey. We all start at the same point but always end in different places, which is shaped by family, friends, money, jobs and other everyday things that at times we take for granted.

I guess on my journey in life I've had my own ups and downs, and I've met my share of different people. Well I'm not going to talk about my entire life right now because that would take me a long assssss time.

I honestly have no idea what Im going to write, i just feel like theres something in me that i have to write about...

I think everyone has, at some point, looked at a place and you would remember the times, whether good or bad, you have shared at that exact spot.

Well looking at someone, a person who you had once known so well, someone that had made such a huge contribution to your life, your reality, a wave of memories flood into your mind. I guess, we as people take things for granted and don't actually have those flash backs until we actually lose the person we had once cherished so much. Just living through the fact that nothing is the same anymore, that not you or they are the same, hurts. The worst part is acting like things are fine, pretending to be normal, but in true fact it is awkward as hell. Its awkward in a sense that you cant be too close, yet you have to act like you have not grown distant. When you see them, a question crosses your mind, "how should i say hi?" wave? smile? say hello? its fucked.

So what do i see when i look into you? i see a box of memories.