RJ Helton - Missing Me

(8) And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life (8)

I know i say it doesnt bother me, and its okay. But you cant expect it has no effect on my wat so ever.
i dont care who they are, it still sinks my heart.
i know it may seem selfish of me, maybe im at fault for caring to much.
i dunno, its just really weird.



Jealousy: "mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims."

awesomeness.

okay. we all know im awesome. but thats not wat im talking about.

these past few days have been quite the spectacular momentss =D
everything is really really awesomeeee
im so happy right now i want a freaking feastttttt =D

i wont go into the details as to why im happy. but i can say its cos of "swanthony" <3




(btw, sacs next week. not so awesome)

waitingggg...

I gave up my hangout time so id have time with u.
i called u but u said u were busy, and that ud call me after.
i waited. but u never did.
i keep waiting until 10, hoping ud call later.
i jump on msn whilst waiting, and there u were. u were online.
i talk to u. i wait again for ages. then u reply saying u had ppl over and would talk to me later.
so i wait again.
i keep waiting, and u suddenly go offline.
u send me a text, saying u were sorry.
i reply "dw its okay. goodnight."

there goes my day.

Valentines dayyy

ALthough swanli wasnt here with me today to spend valentines together, i felt like she was with me the entire time :)

This certainly made my valentines dayyyy :


"Hey :)
So I thought I should write you something since I'm not going to spend this valentines day with you :(
I just wanted to say thankyou just for being you. Thankyou for always being there for me and thankyou for everything you do for me whether it's holding my hand, calling me at night or leaving me the cutest offline msgs. :)
I know we're not perfect, but its all the tough times we go through together that me us who we are. We're SWANTHONY! and I think that's something pretty special :)
So, Happy Valentines Day :)
I love you so so much, even though you make me smile like an idiot at the computer screen.
<3 Always, Swanli :)"


I can proudly say, this valentines went well :)
i also got red pockets =DDD

=D

Today was a turn of events :)))))
I'm so happy we talked about everything.
Trust and honesty is the keyyyy <3

We cleared alot up last night, which made today puureee heaven :)))
I felt everything coming back. It was defs good <3

Oh and we got subwayyyy :))
I was hungry after she left :( so then i walked out to get food, and i bumped into paul and simon!
simon had to go home, so me and paul hung around seeking food.
We walked into subway and saw Aaron, Erol, Jeremy and Ryan!!
VANYA was working at subwaaaayyyy ;;;;)))))
hahahaha!

We abused Erols vouchers and got more than our moneys worrrthhhhh
hahahahaa!! well done my boyssss!
CHEAP ASIAN STYLE!!!

definitions

Ignore: to refrain from noticing or recognizing

Misery: great mental or emotional distress; extreme unhappiness.

Payback: something done in retaliation

Pain: mental or emotional suffering or torment

Is it not good to let them taste their own medicine? then why dont i feel any better? it hurts me inside aswell. There is no winner.

fake smiles

i hate it wen ur bothered, but dont want anyone to know, but u cbs doing anything and ppl notice.
u try hard to make it seem normal but infact u really cant fake happiness....

psht.

mmmm....
these past few days had been okay. not outstandingly good, nor bad.
although the weekends had been a awesome relaxation hangout time, a sudden bomb dropped at the end.
One of my best friends luck just turned. everything was going so RIGHT for him/her even i dont understand why the sudden explosion.
i cant stop worrying. but awell, i suppose i cant really do much about it....

mmmmmmmm......i dunno why, but it seems like wen ur hungry u really want food, but after u start eating, people come along and offer u more and more. Even though the other foods are tasty, you only really need that ONE meal. but that one meal is cold, it doesnt warm u up, u need to eat it, but its so cold that it makes u iced and frozen....

mmmmm....on top of all this, hw is murdering me like hell. im stressed.
i really need to relaxxxxxx.......
grrrr.

Change

There's good changes and bad changes.
But to me, there arent really any bad changes.
Ive experience BOTH, u could say, recently.
We've changed for the better and now really enjoying wat we share :)
and i could proudly say we're stronger than ever, i sense this "doctor" has to treat this "patient" for alot more to come =D

In contrast, with some others, we've changed not necessarily for the worst, but things arent really the same anymore :P
Ahhhh well :\
You cant expect everything to last. We had a good run, thats all that matters, now theyve got someone else more fit for the job than i am :P its cool.
Goodluck, ill still be here though....RIIIIGHHHHHHHTTT heeeerrreeeeeeeeee!!!

X

'x' marks the spot :))

wth.

just wth. pure wth. just....-sigh-.... wthhhhhh....

FIRST DAY OF SKOOOOOOOOOL!!

Hmmmm....as expected today ended up overall a pretty awesome day. :))))

Firstly, cmon, year 11. BLUE JUMPERS mannn....farrrr...thats hot. Thats instant SUPERIORITY!!! =]

Secondly, coooooooler subjectsssssss (Y) cmon, how cool is it wen ur frend asks u:
"hey, so anthony wat u got next?"
"Legal." (H)
OH FREAAAKIINNNGG DAMNNNNN!!! thats just hot. ;)

Thirdly, just seeing everyone was pretty coooooool. catching up abit (Y)

Fourthly, andy gave me Purple Gatsby =D love u <3

Fifthly, i got to walk swanli to the jr site :))))) felt good.

Sixthly, me and aaron went to the "LIBRARY" ;)

Seventhly, me and aaron got a WHOLE pizza, and finished it ;D

Eigthly, a good laugh over certain "hunchbacks", "no necks", "back is connected to my head" talks with aaron hahahaahahhhaha!! well done mateyyy

Ninthly, bumped into eric at mount station, and had one of those GUY conversations....u know wat im on about boysssssss ;)

TENTHHHLYYY, I FOUND OUT WEDNESDAY I ONLY HAVE 2 PERIODS OF SKOOOOOOL!!!!!! =D=D=D